Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Buffies - Rebirth

This is my story, of how I was reborn, as a BUFFIE. I would like to thank the BUFFIES for their help with writing this, especially Meg, Diana and Cele. You may also notice some references to my fav shows in it.

Kisses, Belle.

Previously on The Buffies
Written by Belle | Photo by Cele7110

As I lay in my semi-conscious state I catch parts of conversations going on around me.'We found this in the ruins of the building where Belle was trapped' I hear someone say 'it's a brooch with her name engraved on the back'.

Cel looks at it 'I remember this, it's a kind of heirloom, handed down from generation to generation. Belle loved it and wore it all the time, she never took it off. It's the crest of her Clan, made from Scottish gold and a meteorite'. 'That's Diogenite says' Nic. 'Yes', Cel continues 'the legend is that is was made from a rock that fell from the sky. I have an interest in Celtic arts, and Belle told me the story one day.

It was always worn by the daughter of the Clan chief. Only once was it worn by a male of the Clan, and he was killed at the Battle of Culloden. Since then any female who wore it has suffered an early, gruesome death. The Clan was dispersed in the 19th century, and the last one to wear it was on her way to America, but her mother made her remove it, so she gave it to her mother for safekeeping. It did her no good tho', she went down on the Titanic. The mother was going to throw it away, but her sister took it. It was thought to be cursed, so was never worn again, eventually it was handed down to Belle. I asked if she was not worried by the 'curse' but she would just laugh, saying she was modern and did not believe in all that. The motto on it means 'This I'll Defend'.

'She did that alright' says Meg.

'The strange thing about it is that name has always been there. Belle would laugh about that and say it was meant for her anyway, as it had For My Belle on it' Cel said.

'Well' Benji says 'maybe it will help her recovery, on the sub-conscious level, to have something familiar with her, as it were'.

'I will put it on her' Diana says, and fixes it round my neck as she kisses me on the forehead.

'There is nothing more we can do now' Benji says 'it's up to Belle to do the work as it were, all systems are operating normally, it will just take time for her to heal. If her condition gets worse the alarms will sound. We may as well turn in for the night'.

Cel asks if there is a spare room he can have, as he would like to be around when I recover. Josh mumbles and fidgets, but Meg says there are plenty of spare rooms for him to chose from. As they leave Nic switches the lights over to deep blue uv to clean the room of bacteria.

As darkness descends on me again I dream, strange, disturbing dreams . . .

I dream of my boss in my old job 'remember now and have all your in trays empty' she is saying. I would like to tell her a thing or two.

I see the school bully from my childhood days, forcing me out of the playground away from my friends just because I was 'different', she needs taking down as well.

I see myself watching the circus as a child, the clowns are throwing water over everyone, never did think that was funny, clowns are really scary creatures. And all those poor animals as well, kept in little cages for people's amusement, sticking a chair in a lion's face, not much fun, the circus.

I find myself on a blasted heath, I can hear the sound of fife and drums, and the smell of gunpowder and burning in the air. I feel the darkness closing in all around and an unspeakable terror grips me.

Now I am on a burnt out planet beneath dark skies, a black rain is falling and the hideous Kat is hunting me through the ruins of a city. As fast as I can run I can never escape her, I twist and turn in the wreckage of the buildings, but she is always there. I hide in a ruin, but she finds me, looming over me ready to strike. With horror I realize it is not Kat chasing me, it is myself! The creature booms out 'everything shall perish under the sky' and lets out a banshee scream that rattles round the empty city. A giant foot lifts up to squash me.

'Noooooooooooooooo!' I shout, and find myself sitting up in bed in a strange room, bathed in blue light.

Equipment like that in a lab is all round me, with blinking lights and pumps whirring. I go to move and feel a pain in my arm, what the! I look down and see a tube coming out of it, connected to one of the machines. I pull the tube out - I look at my arms, my hands seem the same, that is my nail varnish, but it is not my arms. I feel other tubes all over my body, and go to pull them out. In the strange light it is difficult to see clearly, but I become aware that I am not looking at my own body. I pull a tube from my stomach, my gawd look at those abs, like a cobbled street. I look at the legs, the quads are like tree trunks. I pull all the tubes out, looking in amazement at the huge muscles they are coming out of. Biceps like footballs, pecs like beachballs, what is going on. After removing all the tubes I feel weaker again, but I must get out of this place.

I remember some of the fight with Kat - one of the Buffies must have been killed, and they have transplanted my brain into her body.
The bastards! They might have asked me first! I wonder which one it is - or was?

I stumble out of the lab, and find myself standing in the dark on a balcony at the top of a staircase. I rest for a moment and gulp in air. The place looks familiar, but from where? Gawd I think, do I have a saw cut round my head like Frankenstein's monster?

I move in the darkness and find myself knocking over objects I should have walked past, just how WIDE am I?

I brush against an old statue, and it crashes down making a hell of a noise. A door opens at the end of the balcony, and a shaft of light shines out.
'My gawd, is that YOU Belle' a voice asks.

'Who the Hell are you, and what have you done to me' I shout back.

'It's me, Cel, are you ok girl?' the voice says.

'Never heard of you' I reply 'and if you know what's good for you, you will return me to my own body before I cause you trouble'.

Other doors open and more figures begin to appear. 'Get the syringe quick' Nic says. Benji runs to the lab and returns with an evil looking device that would not be out of place in a garage. 'Come here Belle, we need to give you an injection of iodine, it will calm you and help you recover' he says.
'You are not sticking THAT in me' I reply, and knock him against the wall.

More figures are appearing, and converging on me.

'What the hell do you want now' I shout and punch the nearest figure. It flies back and crashes right thru the wall. 'Belle, calm down' I hear a voice saying, 'we are trying to help you'.

I am grabbed from behind - I pull the figure over my head and throw it through the roof. Rubble and roof beams fall down and I brush them off.

'Who else wants some of Belle' I shout.

'We have a problem' Josh says, 'I need ALL the Buffies here, now', 'and get some light in here' he shouts.

As the lights come on I find myself surrounded by massive, muscular women. I vaguely recall them as the Buffies, but I can't tell one from the other. Strangely, I find myself looking at them eye-to-eye, I thought they were much bigger than that.

A large figure rushes at me, I remember my times in the gym kick-boxing with my friend Nikki, the idea then was NOT to hit your opponent, we tried to hold back at the last second. I lash out with my leg and hit the figure in the abs. It feels like hitting rock, but she flies backwards and there is the sound of grinding steel and smashing concrete as she flies right thru the wall.

Another attacks me from behind, I grab her and hurl her thru another part of the roof, bringing more debris down on top of us. Yet another comes from nowhere, I can't see her, but I punch at the air and a large hole appears in another wall.

Being a southpaw seems to have caught them off-guard, and my fists and feet crash against flesh and bones, flesh like rubber, yes, and bones like steel, but when I land a hard punch a body flies through another wall!

I am beginning to enjoy this, and I seem to be getting stronger.

'Meg, you had better put a stop to her quick, she is destroying the place' Josh shouts.

The Buffie called Meg comes at me 'For gawd's sake Belle, stop' she says 'we are trying to help you'.

I grab her and throw her over my head, slamming her down on the balcony. Large holes appear where her pecs break through, and cracks begin to spread. I go to smash my foot down on her, but she moves quickly out of the way.

The balcony disintegrates in a cloud of dust as my foot hits, and it falls into the hallway, taking everyone with it.

Except me. I find myself floating, looking down at the pile of rubble and bodies.

'Crap, she can fly' someone says.

Yes, I can fly I realize. Well, no point staying here, I have work to do now. I fly up and crash through the roof into the sky above, and head east.

As everyone drags themselves from the debris, Josh orders that Cutiepie be readied for action. Cel calls his contacts in the media to find out if there is any news, and asks them to call as soon as they hear of any strange Buffie-like activity.

Everyone has cleaned themselves off and Cutiepie is almost ready when Cel gets a call. 'Switch on the news channel' he shouts. Everyone gathers round the tv as a news report is coming in.

'Hi' the announcer says 'We go over to our reporter Richard Dick in London, England, where there are reports of terrorist activity.'

Richard reports 'The first incident happened at the London Dome, where a circus was performing for the first time in many years. A person appeared in the ring, at first people thought she was a circus strong-woman or suchlike, but she began to smash through the roof supports with her bare hands, bringing it crashing down. Thousands are still trapped inside. Next she smashed the cages containing all the animals. The lions, tigers and elephants are now loose in London.
Another incident occurred at London Zoo. Thought to be by the same person, enclosures were broken down and she pulled the iron bars of cages out of the walls, releasing all the animals into the streets. The London Eye ferris wheel has also been torn from its mountings. People are being advised to avoid coming to Britain, and a state of emergency has been declared.'

'Right, everyone onboard Cutiepie, looks like we are going to have a trip to England!' shouts Josh.

Cel asks if he can come, Josh is reluctant at first, but decides Cel's media contacts may be useful. 'Ok, get in' he says.

I enjoyed wrecking the dome, my fists smashing through the steel supports like they were nothing, and pulling the bars of the animals' cages apart was easy, like they were made of paper. I certainly took the smile off the clown's faces, well almost, when I stepped on their car and flattened it! Pity they were still in it.

After the destruction of the dome and the zoo, I head for my old office, the Boss is going to get a surprise today!

On my way I fly past the London Eye, the big ferris wheel, it seems empty of people, so I will have some fun with it. It looks just like a giant cycle wheel, so I wrench it of its bearings, and run it along the road on the way to my old office, pushing and guiding it with my huge hands. It flattens cars along the route I take, and goes through walls as I twist and turn in the city streets. On my route is the new Olympic Stadium, so I take a detour to smash the walls down with the wheel, and run it over the athletic tracks, great fun!

I see my old office ahead, so I park the wheel against a high rise.

Helen Brent sits at her desk looking over her staff, like a Victorian school ma'am. 'Now remember everyone, I want to see your in trays empty' she is saying.

Suddenly the building shakes violently, her desk bounces and her bottle of water falls on the floor.

'It's happened' she thinks 'a terrorist attack!'

'Now I want everyone to save all their emails, and close the work they are doing' she is saying, but too late, the staff are out the door and away! 'Remember and use the stairs, not the lift' she shouts after them.

The office wall explodes with a cloud of debris and dust, and Helen sees a huge blonde standing there.

'What, or who, on Earth are you?' she asks.

'Don't you remember me, it's Belle here, one of your many ex-employees' I thunder. 'I've come to pay you back for all the shit I had to take over the years when I worked here' I tell her.

I walk over to her desk and rest one foot on it. The weight of my foot makes the desk split in two with a loud crack.

She jumps back, but before I can react there is the sound of sirens from the street below.

I look out of the window and see rapid response vehicles pulling up, lights flashing. Armed men in body armour are leaping out of them.

'This is your lucky day Helen' I tell her 'there are bigger fish to fry! Run now, and save yourself'.

When I turn round, she has gone.

I pick up an i-pod from a desk and put it on. Springsteen's 'Born to Run' recorded by Allan Clarke is playing 'In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream - At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines' it suits my mood so I leave it running.

I walk through the front of the building, the steel, concrete and glass is nothing more than wet tissues to me, and I stand in mid air looking at the troops below. Bees buzz around my head and tickle my body as they fly about, what on earth is going on. Oh wait, they are not bees, they are bullets being fired from the rapid response units. They are such a nuisance, I must teach them a lesson, I drop down to street level with bullets still flying all round me.

(Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin out over the line Baby this town rips the bones from your back Its a death trap, it's a suicide rap)

I drop on one of the vehicles and squash it flat with my feet, the troops withdraw to safer positions, and I can hear the grinding of tracks. A Challenger tank appears round a corner and stops. The turret turns and the gun aims at me. I can hear Gary the Tank Commander say 'Orders from Mr Saxon, fire at will'.

(Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims And strap your hands across my engines Together we could break this trap We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back)

As Cutiepie flies over the London Dome, Josh drops off Jewel and Amanda to help with the rescue work. 'Rescue the people, the animals can wait' he tells them.

There is a blast of flame from the gun barrel of the tank and a shell flashes towards me. I duck and catch it in my hand, jeez its hot, then I realize I am not burned at all. I throw the shell back and it explodes in front of the tank, leaving a large crater. I pick up one of the response vehicles and throw it at the tank, it hits with such force the 60 ton tank is knocked on its side. I hear another tank approaching and as it appears I fly up, just as it fires. The shell passes underneath me and hits a high rise building, bringing down debris and glass on those below.

(Will you walk with me out on the wire `cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider But I gotta find out how it feels I want to know if love is wild, girl I want to know if love is real)

As I fly up two Tiger helicopters of the French Army appear over the rooftops, and they open fire with armor piercing shells. As the shells bounce off me I decide that this is just getting too ridiculous, and I fly at the helicopters. I deliver a left hook to one, then a right uppercut to the other, sending them crashing down into the streets of London, where they explode in flames.

Maybe I will visit my old school in the burbs now. I fly to the site, but discover the school has gone. It was an old Victorian building, but now a green area with a playpark in it. A small girl is on the swings and memories flood back when I was young, sitting in the same spot. I was always different as a girl and bullies constantly picked on me. They knocked me down and called me names. I learned to keep my distance and play on my own, avoiding attention from the stronger kids. Not anymore.

I drop down and land in front of her.

She screams on seeing me, and jumps off the swing, grazing her knee. She is crying, so I lift her up gently, and put her on a bench. I wonder if she is bullied too. 'There's no more bullies now, just me' I tell her. I feel a tear running down my cheek as I remember my school days.

(Beyond the palace hemi-powered drones scream down the boulevard The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors And the boys try to look so hard The amusement park rises bold and stark Kids are huddled on the beach in a mist I wanna die with you Wendy on the streets tonight)

The moment is broken by the sound of jets, Harriers of the International Security Assistance Force fly overhead.

'Run, run to your mother' I shout at the girl. This is no place for a mere mortal child.

I fly up into the clear blue sky, and find myself flying north, towards the land of my birth.

'Patrol leader to Control, target is airborne' 'Roger that, await further instructions'.

'Control to Patrol Leader, orders from Mr Saxon, target is to be destroyed, repeat, target is to be destroyed'. 'Roger that Control, target to be destroyed, Patrol Leader out'.

I hear the engines of the jets scream as they chase after me. Off to my right I can see two smoke trails coming towards me, these are Typhoons of the Luftwaffe flying at full reheat.

A fireball of orange and black erupts in front of me and I fly through it, gagging on the smoke and fumes. A missile from one of the Harriers has scored a near hit. Gawd I need to be more careful, did not see that coming.

The two smoke trails curve towards me on an intercept course. Maybe this is not the place for a lady to be, so I go West.

As I try to outpace the jets, a dot appears in the distance, coming at me fast. It soon takes on the appearance of a strange, pink coloured craft. It is Cutiepie!

Cutiepie circles me and I can see Josh, Nic, Benji, Cel, Diana and Meg inside. They are waving at me indicating I should follow them. Cutiepie lands in a field beside the ancient monument of Stonehenge. Diana and Meg jump out and shout at me to land, but I decide I do not take orders from anyone.

A missile from one of the jets hits me and throws me off-balance - well if it is a fight they want they have one, and I turn to face them.

Suddenly Diana grabs me round the waist with her enormous thighs, she has jumped a mile in the air powered by her strong legs. 'Belle, you must come with us now, we want to help you' she says. Still stunned by the missile blast and hindered by Diana's great weight, I begin to drop towards the ground.

'No, I must fight them' I say, but suddenly Meg has grabbed my arm, she has jumped as well to catch hold of me.

'Let me go, I can take them easily' I shout at them, and try to shake them off, but we fall faster and faster.

We smash into Stonehenge as I wrestle with the two Buffies, as we rumble I jab my elbows into pecs and backs, I wave my legs in an attempt to free myself from Diana and Meg's strong grips, but it is impossible. As we wrestle we collide with the stones, blocks weighing 40 tons fall on us, but they feel like balsa wood. A bomb from one of the jets explodes close by, and brings down more of the stones. As I struggle with Diana and Meg we roll all over the site, our huge size and power bringing all the henge down.

(The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive Everybody's out on the run tonight but there's no place left to hide)

Cel gets his phone 'I know people who know people, I will call them and try and get the attack called off'.

Diana and Meg have me pinned now, and I hear Benji say 'This is for your own good girl' as a probe is pushed up my anus. 'You bastards, what are you doing to me' I ask, and then the darkness falls on me again.

(I'll love you with all the madness in my soul Someday girl I don't know when were gonna get to that place Where we really want to go and we'll walk in the sun But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run)

Cel gets his call through, and the jets fly off.

(born to run)

My body is chained up inside Cutiepie, and Josh flies back to London to pick up Amanda and Jewel. 'OK, it's back to Malibu, let's hope we can help Belle there' he says.

As I drift in the darkness, I find myself in deep time, rocks and the remains of planets orbit round, dark energy flows through me and a dull red star shines in the centre of everything.

The star gets brighter and brighter, and I wake up in bed in a brightly lit room, with all the Buffies round me.

'How do you feel, Belle?' Meg asks.

'Wow, I feel great, like I have slept for a whole month' I reply.

'What about the events of the last day or so?' asks Josh.

'You mean Kat, I do remember something of that, are you guys ok?' I reply.

'No, the events in London' Cel says.

'What are you talking about, I have not been to London for years' I say.

Josh brings in a table with a tv on it and puts in a dvd. He explains there have been some 'changes' in my physiology. 'Watch this' he says.

The news reports of the Bad Buffie who terrorized London play. 'No way, that was never me' I say.

'I'm afraid it was, Belle' Meg says.

'Oh gawd,' I say 'I will have to return there and repair the damage I caused'.

'Are you sure about that?' asks Cel.

'Yes, I must use these powers for good, I must go back' I reply.

Josh tells me that Amanda and Jewel rescued everyone from the Dome, and there were no serious injuries to the public. I am grateful for that.

'Well, if you have to return, we have new suits that you can wear, it will make you appear a more normal size to everyone' Josh tells me.

I tell Josh that I rather like the way I look now, such huge muscles, and pecs to die for. I want to stay like this. I want everyone to see that great power and strength can be used for good.

Josh says I should go and choose a costume then, and Cel offers to help me find something in the Buffie wardrobe. When I come back Josh looks annoyed 'Is THAT what you want to wear, a red bikini and pirate boots!' he coughs out.

'Well I like it, it shows off my new body well. And Cel agrees with me'.

'OK ok wear that then' Josh says, 'we had better get Cutiepie ready then.'

'No way, I must do all this myself, without the Buffies' I tell him.

Josh looks unimpressed with this. Nic and Benji appear, with clipboards and reams of paper.'What have you found about Belle's condition, do we know what changed her?' he asks.

'Well, we have checked and re-checked everything, we have checked all the variables we factored in, our figures are still ok, the small amounts of Buffie DNA we gave Belle could not have affected her at all. The only thing we did not allow for was the brooch, but as gold and diogenite are inert, they should not have caused any effect. Of course, we can never be sure of that' they tell Josh.

'OK', says Josh as he stretches out his hand to remove my brooch 'better safe than sorry'.

I give Josh a look across my pecs that says 'Touch that and you DIE!'

'Alright, I suppose you can keep it until we are sure, but you had better be able to control your dark side' says Josh. 'I can control myself when I want to Josh, I am not stupid you know!' I reply, pushing him against the wall with my huge pecs. There is history between Cel and Josh, so I decide I do not like Josh.

Josh looks nervous.

I know that my worst enemy lies inside me, but I think I can control it. I hope. Do I listen to my heart, or my mind? I decide not to tell anyone about my dreams.

'Well, I had better make a move then, back to London to see what I can do to help. Wish me luck' I say.

A week later I return to Malibu, and the Buffies.

'Gawd girls, I don't know how you do it, I have been working 24/7 without a break, I am bushed!' I tell them, 'could someone put these roses in water for me, thanks'.

Josh comes in, he seems quite excited.

'Ah, there you are Belle, good work, good work, you said all the right things, yes, good PR for the Buffies. Our mail server has crashed with all the requests from women who want to become a Buffie now. Well done.'

He leaves as quickly as he appeared.

'How did it go, girl?' Meg asks.

'Well, I said sorry a lot. The worst of all was having to say sorry to my old Boss', I reply.

'Life stinks' giggles Diana.

'What do you want to do now, go back to normal life, or stay here with us as a Buffie?' Meg asks.

I sink into a seat beside Meg 'Well, I would really like to stay here with the Buffies, if you will have me. I do like this new body of mine, it is a dream come true for me. Maybe I could help with answering all the fan mail, or something' I reply. 'I have never really thanked you all for saving me - even if you just want me to make the coffee, I would be happy'.

Everyone is watching the news channel again.

'Hi, I'm Phoolie Conchus with C*NT and here is the News' the announcer is saying.

'We have more reports of the Buffie that last week was being called the Bad Buffie, and is now being called the British Buffie'.

'Scottish' I say

'After receiving assurances that all the animals she released would be housed in better conditions, she helped to re-capture the ones still loose and return them to the circus and the zoo'.

There is footage of me flying carrying an elephant, lifting the millennium dome up in the air and lowering it on its new supports, footage of me bending iron bars, that seemed to be popular, bent a lot of bars! A small girl comes out of the crowd of onlookers and hands me a bunch of red roses. 'We love you, Belle' she says. It is the girl from the playpark. Footage of tears running down my cheeks. More footage of me carrying the London Eye through the streets on my back, and fitting it on its new hub. Helping to rebuild the Olympic Stadium, lifting heavy gear and scaffolding up in the air. Footage of me rebuilding Stonehenge, carrying 40 ton blocks in the air as though they were nothing. There were blocks buried in the ground that I recovered, so I was able to rebuild the whole henge as it was centuries ago, refitting all the stones together in their right places. I felt a buzz of power as I rebuilt it, but Gawd, some people are never happy, it was half broken anyway when we wrecked it and they are complaining it is perfect now!

Now the Lord Mayor of London is saying: 'We believe that the advent of this new, British, Buffie

'Scottish' I say

'shows that spring must follow winter, and that the green shoots of recovery will appear. Visitor numbers to the Dome, London Zoo, Eye and Stonehenge have exceeded all records, and we believe that this new British

'Scottish' I say

'Buffie heralds the economic recovery of our city. We hope that this new British

'Scottish' I say

'Buffie will wear a suitably British costume, and we are having one designed for her. This British'

'Scottish' I say

After about the zillionth time Meg speaks:



'You are really starting to piss me off now!'

'Sorry' I say, and curl up in my seat like a naughty child.

Meg shakes her head 'oh boy' she says quietly.


  1. I think old Joshie forgot about that UV blue light possibly affecting the Gold/meteorite brooch + Buffie lifesaving DNA.........

    Hopefully Belle can keep her dark side under control most of the time...... :)

  2. Well . . . maybe MOST of the time ;)

  3. Note to Belle... a little bit of cold water.
    Please, PLEASE ask someone to spellcheck (if you don't feel like re-reading your essay). Bad punctuation tends to beat the credibility well out of a good piece of writing.